71

Hopeful, fearful, the sprout
of the flower that has yet to bloom
turns to sun and sees
the sight of the full moon.


Hopeless and tearful, the seed
that is hidden all its life
wants to be seen by those
who live on the outside.


Hopeful and cheerful, the flower
that brings colour to the world
wants to be admired, desired
as it lights up the gloom.


Hopeless and dreadful the leaf
torn away from its branch
watches itself fall
without being able to stop.

70

The bloom of the flowers is slowly closing
To give way to a colder time
And the dark of the night is slowly engulfing
The world filled with lights


And we take our jackets and ventour to the world
Against the winds and the rains
The warmth will come back someday
When the hopeful spring begins


But for now, the days will turn orange
The leaves will fall from the trees
Autumn, in its essential sunset
makes its way to us with ease.

69

I've run out of words
I don't know what to say
What to write
How to stay
Deep within a world
That makes me feel safe

My chest is a blank slate
With only my white bones
And my redish flesh
That does nothing to give
Does everything to get

To fill in the empty
With whatever it takes
Is always
A terrible mistake

If words were a star
They'd pass by my tongue
To search for those
More deserving
Whose writing would awe
And generate innumerable emotions
While I'm left behind
Wondering what happened

If this is the fate
Word have bestowed upon me
Erase from my heart
The need to use them
So that I can live
Without knowing my failure
To concieve meaningful sentences
So I can hide in my ignorance
And put up my defences
And believe I did the best I could

If this is the cross
Words have given me to bear
I don't to be a martyr
So release me from this death

68

When the night falls

Emotions rush through me

Like waves of sadness

Wanting to spill out

In my heart there's a flood

Of dark and murky waters

That want to burts my chest open

But stay anxiously waiting

When I lay down in bed

After holding on too long

The feeling always appears

To make me sad again. 

67

Venting out is fine
Don't let it consume you
There are many things you can find
Just looking around you

The world is vast
Some people love you
These are just moments that pass
And end up behind you

66

Sometimes being kind is hard
if the person on the recieving end is yourself
You say things you would never say
to anyone else
Those things that you know
will pierce through your soul
Why is it that you enjoy
hurting youself so?
What trick is there in this world
to see myself as a person of worth?
What can give me the colour I desire
in this colourless soul?
What use is this writing
for no one at all?
But I want to be kind and I want to be nice
And I need just a little bit of advice
On how to make that come true
Because I'm lost in the way and don't know what to do
I wish I my thoughts were never mean to me
How, oh how, can I let that be?

65

Empty yourself
Pur your feelings on to something else
Pretend that is holding you together
Make it hold you together
Run away from facing the fact
That you just don't know how to act
Whit thing you can't weather

Rain on yourself
Take your decisions and put them on a shelf
So that everyone can see
Everyone can see your blame
You say that is pain
But you're just a coward who knows how to hide
The real you from inside

Scream to the void
It doesn't feel like screaming at all
As no one hears
The emotions don't go
You want to let go
Be free from this mess that you made
Get over yourself

64

Unproductive, unnatentive
Sad little girl
Too lazy, too protective
Of your stupid little ego
I despise you, I loathe you
For the excuses you make
And the lies that convince you
That it's all okay
Everytime that you fail
And again and again
I wish I was freed
for this character of mine
That I can't stand